Land of Maple and Bacon
by EaterOfWaffles
Summary: Not a lot of people notice Canada. Even less notice his provinces and territories. The adventures of the fourteen girls that make up Canada.
1. Demon Swans

**Warning: All French in this will probably be horrendous.**

_Newfoundland has mute swans. There are two possible stories about how the swans that there: more common one is that Queen Elizabeth II gave them as a gift or 2. Harry Hamlyn went to England and got them from King George. Either way, they're English._

Quebec knew the swan was evil. It seemed all innocent and graceful, but it was just a disguise. It was a demon with a thirst for blood. Probably her blood, if you took the constant hydro-based arguments between her and the twins.

But everyone else thought it was precious. The other girls seemed absolutely memorized by the animal, crowding close to the water (or in the Maritimers case, in the water), while she stood as far away as possible.

...Why did she let Ontario drag her here again?

"Come on Quebec!" Labrador said, throwing her dirty blonde braid over her shoulder, "It's not going to hurt you!"

"Oui, il est. Ce cygne est mal pur."

The bird suddenly shot out of the water, seemingly intent on destroying Quebec. The other provinces and territories turned to the twins for an explanation as Quebec ran away swearing on the top of her lungs.

Newfoundland shrugged, pressing her lips together as though trying to hide her amusement, "Well it is an English swan."


	2. Why They Don't Let PEI Drive

_Prince Edward Island has a funny history with cars. From 1908 to 1911 cars were banned and up until 1924 they drove on the left side of the road._

Although conference meetings were always crazy, ranging from sort of crazy to HOLYCRAPARETHEYHIGH! crazy, they always began the exact same way, something Canada always made sure to enjoy, as within the next hour or so he would be driven completely insane.

Ontario would always arrive first, as Ottawa was on her land. Her fashionable but work appropriate outfit and black curls would be even more pristine than normal, and she would be carrying enough of Tim's coffee for all fifteen of them and timbits for Kumajiro. She would sit on his right.

Quebec would arrive next, mumbling under her breath about traffic. Although her make-up would be perfect, she would be half asleep and eager to grab a coffee and the seat on Ontario's right. Manitoba would come next and sit next to Quebec, after sighing and informing Kumajiro that she was Manitoba.

The territories would get their next, complaining of the heat and taking three seats to Canada's left, making sure Newfoundland, Labrador and Quebec would be as far apart as possible, a necessary precaution. Saskatchewan and Alberta would be there next, dressed normally but still smelling vaguely like farm. Then the Maritimes would arrive and they would start.

But the Maritimes were late.

It's wasn't exactly an uncommon thing for the Maritimes to arrive late. Besides Labrador, they all had to get different boats to the mainland, then drive the rest of the way.

Just as Canada realized they were later than normal, a crash interrupted his thoughts.

One entire wall of his kitchen/conference room was knocked down by a Labrador's truck. Everyone coughed on the dust as the five Maritimers got out slowly, as though in shock.

Quebec looked up calmly from her magazine, "Who let P.E.I. drive?"


	3. Syrup Problems

_70% of maple syrup comes from Quebec._

For all her talk of separation, Quebec couldn't deny that she was very Canadian. She was a big hockey fan, to the point of rioting whenever her team won, owned a little too many tuques and she spoke Canadian-French, not French. She ate a lot of macaroni and cheese, rolled up the rim every year and loved maple syrup.

Quebec really, really, really, really loved maple syrup.

So when she went downstairs one morning, practically drooling at the thought of pancakes and French toast, to find some money and a note from Ontario in place of her maple syrup, she was angry. But she shook it off, deciding it was better to not start another argument with her sister and just be grateful that Ontario left her enough money to buy more syrup. She went out, got some maple syrup and ate her breakfast.

The next morning she woke up to find her new bottle gone and a note and some change from Alberta. The cowgirl was so stubborn that Quebec's words would just go in one ear and out the other, so she shook it off again and bought more syrup.

After finding the money and a note from British Columbia the next morning, Quebec sighed but was too lazy to go to the other side of the country, so she just went and bought more, making sure to get two bottles this time...

...Only to find Newfoundland and Labrador had taken them the next morning. At least they were civil enough to leave some extra money for her trouble, unlike the other provinces.

Karma seemed to exist though, because when she woke up the next morning, instead of finding a note and some cash from one of the girls, or heaven forbid Canada, she found Vermont in an apron, a pile of French toast covered in his **homemade** maple syrup set on the table.

As she dug into her crush's delicious breakfast, she couldn't help but think that maybe maple syrup tasted better if it was someone else's.


	4. Newfie Legends

"Aunt France?"

France sighed, though he was used to the nickname. The only female nations Terra Nova and The Land God Gave Cain had met before were Greenland and Ireland, who both had reasonably long hair, so when they met France, they assumed he was a woman because of his slightly longer hair.

"Yes, Terra Nova?"

"Can you see George?"

"Who is George?"

"George is my friend. Markland says she can't see him, so I was wondering if you could. "

"Is George here?"

"Yes, Auntie," she said, pointing toward her coast. Nothing was there.

"No, I'm sorry, Terra Nova, but I don't see anything," he said, smiling comfortingly and patting the girl on the head, "I'm going to go get supper ready. You okay here by yourself?"

"Yes, Auntie," she said. France smiled and walked away. As soon as he was out of sight, Terra Nova walked over to the water.

"Why am I the only one that can see you, George?" the girl asked sadly into the water. A tentacle belonging to a squid the size of a medium sized ship reached out of the water and patted the girl on the cheek.

"Well, atleast I can see you," she said, smiling her best non-mammal friend.

* * *

"France told me something interesting about you," England said, smiling down at the girl. Newfoundland looked up at him, confused. She had never been this far into the English woods before.

"What?" she asked.

"He said you can see things he couldn't," he said, "That Mainland couldn't see them either."

"I see creatures that Laura can't see," Newfoundland said quietly, "She sees spirits I can't see."

"Well, I figured that if you can see the creatures like me, I figured you might like to meet some of my friends," he said as he stopped walking. England gestured to what would have been an empty space to a normal person, "These are my faerie friends."

Newfoundland screamed and hid behind England.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Those aren't faeries; they're pixies! They want to steal my bread and drop me down a well!"

* * *

"...And that's why Scotland doesn't wear pants."

Newfoundland and Mainland Newfoundland cracked up. But the laughter was cut short as a piercing scream echoed through the air.

"What was that?" Mainland asked.

"The banshee," Ireland and Newfoundland said at the same time, before facing each other in shock.

"You know of them too?" Newfoundland asked. When Ireland nodded, the little nation leaped through the air and hugged her uncle, "I knew it! I knew I wasn't crazy! I told you Laura!"

Mainland just shook her head.

* * *

"Wake up Newfoundland! Newfoundland? Newfie? Vinland? Seriously Terra wake up!"

Newfoundland's hand reached out and grabbed Canada's face, silencing him instantly.

"Matt, when I asked to sleep over to your house it was because I didn't want to be late for the meeting," she growled, her voice muffled by the blankets, "Not because I had some insane desire to wake up early on a Sunday."

Regardless of how tired she seemed to be, Newfoundland sat up and yawned, throwing off the heavy blankets.

"Um, sis?"

"Yeah bro?"

"What's that?" he asked, pointing to an old board on the floor. A big nail pointed out from it.

"Oh that?" she said, yawning again, "I can't sleep on my side, so I sleep with the board on my chest so that the hag can't get me."

With that, Newfoundland left the room, ignoring the strange look her younger brother was giving her.


	5. Weather and Water

**I wanted to write states, romance and something summer-y. This was the result.**

**Introducing some of the states: Texas, Alaska and New York!**

**Reminder: All non-English will be horrible.**

"...I'm...not...go...ing...to...make...it...much...long...er..."

"I...think I'm...going to die."

"Why...is it...so...hot?"

The provinces nodded, feeling similarly to the territories. All fourteen of the girls were sprawled around the fortunately large air conditioner in America's house, which was on full blast, waiting for all the states to arrive. They were all dressed in summer clothes and had kicked off their shoes. No one was arguing, reserving talking for complaining about how hot it was and asking Ottawa (who was used to the heat) to get more water whenever she walked by.

"Do they seriously find this hot?" America asked Canada, "This isn't even as hot as it can get."

Canada sighed, "They don't visit you as often as Ottawa and I do."

"Aren't most of their capitals near the border?"

"Yes," Canada said, "But most of them don't live in their capitals. Only P.E.I and Northwest do. The rest live in slightly more rural areas."

While the two countries were discussing this, a few states had arrived. Texas, seeing his golden opportunity, approached them.

"Hey 'Berta," he said, giving her a nod and a charming smile that would make most girls willing to bear his children. Alberta, however, just glared at him.

"Go away, dumbass, I'm too hot to deal with you right now."

"Are you saying I make you hot?"

"No. Go fuck yourself."

"Wouldn't you rather I fuck you?"

SLAP!

"Well, that was a fail," Alaska said, as the slightly pissed off but mostly embarrassed state sat down besides her. Despite being up near the territories most of the time, Alaska seemed to have inherited her old brother's ability to go around in warm clothes and not be too affected by heat, "Don't worry Tex, she likes you. She's just very Romano about it. The heat just makes her even easier to pass off."

"Maybe we could cool them off," New York said, leaning against the back of their chairs. Texas took one look at the devilish look on his face and guessed his plan, a smirk blooming on his face as well.

"You just want to see Newfoundland in wet clothes."

"Maybe."

* * *

"Hi guys," America said, walking up the Canadians. New York had recruited him in their plan, which he was happy to go along with.

"Girls," Nunavut corrected.

"Hi girls," America repeated, "We're going to have the meeting outside. It's starting to cool down."

The girls glanced at each other, as though saying "Uhhh, I don't want to get up," but got up anyway and followed him outside.

"Where are the states?" Ontario asked, yawning.

"UP HERE!"

The Canadians spun around. All fifty states were on the roof, loaded with water balloons and water guns.

"ATTACK!"

Immediately gallons upon gallons of water fell upon them.

"Oh mon Dieu!"

"Texas, werde ich Sie töten!"

"私はすべて憎む!"

"Cease fire! Cease fire!"

"Gaat u werkelijk ongewapende Canadezen aanvallen?"

Bottom of Form

"GIRLS!" shouted Canada from the doorway, "HERE!"

Several hoses fell at the girls' feet. Evil grins fell over their faces.

"OH GOD NO!"

* * *

"Well, that backfired," Texas muttered, toweling off his hair. The Canadians had won the battle, and he was soaked to the bone. His hat, which hung from the shower rod, would never be the same.

"Maybe not," Alberta's reflection said. He turned around to face the real one. Her wet clothes clung to her body, her wet curls were pulled back and she wore a smile, not a smirk. He had never found her more attractive.

She apparently felt similarly, because she stepped forward and pressed her lips to his.

"What was that for?"

"I felt bad for ruining your hat."


	6. Maritime Phone Line

**I love writing the Maritimes. They're a strange little family.**

**Human names:**

**Nova Scotia-Peggy Greene**

**PEI-Annie (Annae) Greene**

**New Brunswick-Avril Greene**

**Labrador-Laura Doyle**

**Newfoundland-Terra Doyle**

"_Fuck you I'm drunk. Fuck you I'm drunk. Pour my beer down the sink I've got more in-_"

"'ello?"

"Peggy! Do you know what day it is?"

"When Ah went tae sleep lest night it was th' eighth."

"Exactly!"

"Exactly what?"

"Why haven't we started preparing yet?"

"Annae, ye jist woke me up. Ah haven't had coffee yit. What should we hae been preparin' fur?"

"Canada day! Do you realize how much work it's going to take to get back on schedule?"

"...No?"

"A lot! We're going to have to work nonstop to make Mattie's birthday perfect!"

"...Aam callin' Avril."

* * *

"_I've seen her face; I know her name. I've lost my place and she's to-_"

"Hello?"

"Annae's gone insane."

"Mattie's birthday party?"

"Aye."

"Shouldn't you be used to this by now?"

"Aye, but she doesn't usually freak thes early. An' she also doesn't usually wake me up at seven in th' morn."

"Okay, you just go over there and calm her down. I'll call the twins, and we'll be over to figure this out."

"'kay, cheerio."

* * *

"_I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance. Never settle for the path of-_

"Yeah?"

"Laura, Annie's panicking about Canada day. All five of us are getting together. Call Terra."

"...Did you just hang up on me? Hello? Avril? ...Stupid Frenchie."

* * *

"_Mari-Mac's mother's makin' Mari-Mac marry me. My mother's makin' me marry Mari-Mac. Well I'm gonna marry Mari for when-_"

"Ahoy!"

"Ahoy to you. Sorry if I woke you up."

"You're kiddin', right sis? I've been up since five. I decided to sleep in today."

"...Okay. Listen, Annie's freaking out, so we're getting together to figure out Matt's birthday."

"Already? I know it's Mattie's birthday an' all, but she gotta be nuts."

"You say that like it's a new idea. Anyway, can you make it?"

"Sure, I don't have much to do today."

"Okay, see you there."

"..."

"...Terra? ...Terra? ...Why is everyone hanging up on me today?"


	7. Birthdays

It's not their real birthdays. St. John the Baptist Day is also celebrated in France, the Baltic's and the Nordics and for all anyone knew John Cabot discovered Cape Breton back in 1497.

But none of them knew their real birthdays. As the oldest, they didn't have anyone to remind to tell them, and they can barely remember that far back, as they were only toddlers.

It's one of the few days they get along. There are no insults, whether they be in French, English, Icelandic, Beothuck, Mi'kmaq, Inuktitut or Newfinese. They don't really even talk. They just sit there drinking, screech for the twins and French wine for Quebec, and watch the fireworks. They're not as fantastic as the ones for Canada's birthday, but they're still nice.

"Happy birthday, guys."

"'appy birthday, duckies."

"Joyeux Anniversaire à vous mon cher amis."

**To Newfies: Happy Discovery Day!**

**To Québécois and others: Happy St. John the Baptist Day!**

_Ducky is a Newfinese term of endearment._


	8. Canada Day

**This is the longest thing I have ever written in under a week.**

**HAPPY CANADA DAY!**

**4:23am**

**Ottawa, Ontario**

While Canada was often annoyed when people forgot him, he couldn't blame them for forgetting his birthday. Why? Because he often forgot his birthday himself.

Or maybe he just couldn't think straight enough to remember it was his birthday when Ontario called him at four in the morning.

"Hello?"

"I'm just calling to let you know I'll be picking you up at seven. Make sure that you grab anything you might need today, because you're not allowed back until six or so."

"Couldn't you have told me at six or something?"

"Maybe, but that wouldn't be as fun for me. Now get some sleep, you can't be tired on your big day!"

"...What's today?"

"It's your birthday, dumbass."

**5:17am**

**Corner Brook, Newfoundland and Labrador**

One strange thing about Newfoundland, she never threw things away unless absolutely necessary. She wasn't a hoarder, but she could fill many a museum. Maybe it was habit left over from her clothes-from-a-barrel days, but she would have never thrown away what she was looking anyway.

The floors in her house were covered in the contents of her closets. Boots made from rubber and leather, numerous hockey jerseys, jeans in various states of wear and tear, old winter coats, countless hats, fishing poles broken beyond repair, flags, love notes from New York, hakapiks and strangely, Labradorite.

After about an hour of digging, just as the sun was starting to sneak up, she finally found some clothing bags in a hallway closet that held her older clothes. They held things like seal coats, white baby dresses, breeches, cravats, frock coats and, most importantly, old uniforms.

She took out one clothing bag and pulled out the uniform inside, laying it on her bed. It was remarkably similar to England's WWI uniform, but the puttees rolled up in the bottom of the bag were a different colour, blue to be exact. The metals were pinned to the breast, still as shiny as they were when she first got them.

Her finger traced the metals as her lips mouthed the names of each soldier.

**7:46am**

**Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island**

"Hey gu-Holy crap what happened in here!" New Brunswick dropped the grocery bags she was carrying in favour of staring open-mouthed at the mess in front of her.

The floor, previously checkered blue and green, was pure white from the piles of sugar, flour and salt. Something New Brunswick hoped was pancake batter was dripping from the ceiling. The pile of peeled potatoes, which would later become poutine and potato and egg salad, was taller than PEI, who was calmly peeling more potatoes despite being covered in a layer of flour. Various bowls and plates were filled with half-finished mixtures that would later become that night's dinner. Nova Scotia was pouring egg whites in a mixer, the yolks of which had been smashed into her knitted cap.

"What happened while I was gone?" New Brunswick asked, afraid to step out of the foyer.

Nova Scotia glanced up, as though only noticing her, "Me an' PEI had a minor disagreement while ye were gone."

"I was gone ten minutes!"

"We Scots are good at arguin'."

PEI sighed, "Just be glad that the cake's at Newfoundland's house."

**8:13am**

**Red Deer, Alberta**

"Are we honestly letting Al do the fireworks again?" Manitoba asked behind her hand to Saskatchewan, her voice as quiet as she could make it (which wasn't that quiet).

"Don't worry," Saskatchewan whispered back in her usual slow drawl, "I've already asked BC to distract Al later so I can check everything over."

"Sayin' things behind ya hands does not make it private!" Alberta huffed without turning around from the fireworks, "And I am fantastic with fireworks."

"Ya, and Saskatchewan has boobs," Manitoba deadpanned. Saskatchewan's eyes narrowed into a glare. Her breasts were a sensitive subject, as she had similar hair, height and facial structure to the prairies' honorary sister Ukraine.

"I have boobs."

"Barely."

"Sorry, but we can't all be as well-endowed as Ukraine."

"Your boobs are almost as small as PEI's."

Alberta rolled her eyes and got back to work. Her sisters talked more about boobs then the male American states.

**8:35am**

**Washington, DC**

"Yo, America!" British Columbia screamed as she pounded on the door, "Open up! It's hot out here! You better have air conditioning!"

Labrador sighed. Not going to France with Newfoundland this year was a decision she was beginning to regret.

The door of America's house was opened by a dark skinned man wearing nerdy glasses and a button down shirt.

"Hey Obama!" British Columbia said, pushing past him to get inside.

"Don't call me that."

"Hey WDC," Labrador said, politely stepping around the American capital. Said capital nodded in greeting.

"HEY BURGER-BASTARD!" British Columbia shouted up the staircase.

"Stop calling me that, weed-whacker," America said, coming down the stairs as he towel-dried his hair, "I could hear you screaming from shower. Oh, hey little sis."

"I'm older then you."

"Don't care. Anyway, why are you here?"

"It's your job to distract Canada this year, since the nice part of Italy did it last year," Labrador explained, "Ontario picked him up about an hour and a half ago, so taking the traffic between Ottawa and here and the fact noted crazy driver Quebec taught Ontario to drive into consideration, they should be here in about twenty minutes or so."

"Okay," America said, "But why are you guys here?"

Labrador pulled a hakapik out of her bag and held it threateningly.

"Don't mess up this year," British Columbia smiled grimly, "If Canada gets any word of what we are planning, you'll have to bleach the white house again."

America gulped audibly.

**9:57am**

**Ottawa, Ontario**

"I can't believe it's Canada's birthday again," Nunavut said, as the territories, Quebec and Ontario stepped up onto Canada's porch, "I'm still tired from last year."

"That's because you're physically thirteen and we for some reason gave you alcohol," Quebec commented.

"It was your idea," Ontario said.

"I thought it was Alaska's idea," Northwest Territories mused.

"Doesn't matter."

"Ontario, do you have a key?" The Yukon asked suddenly, sounding slightly concerned.

"No."

"Quebec, do you have a key?"

"No."

"Northwest?"

"No. Why?"

"The door's locked."

**10:02am**

**Beaumont Hamel, France**

To be honest, Newfoundland expecting someone to call. Something went wrong every year, and for some reason she was the one to call when that happened.

"Hey Ontari-ari-ario!"

"Don't call me that."

"I can an' I will. Anyway, you guys don't usually hav ta call me dis early. What 'appened?"

"No one has a key and Canada doesn't hide a share key under his mat or in his plant. Also, we need a broom and a new pot for the plant."

"...You guys seriously called me fur dat."

"Yes. Shut up."

"I didn't say anythin'."

"You were going to."

**10:32am**

**Juneau, Alaska**

"Россия, брат! Сестра Украина! Сестра Беларусь!" Alaska screamed, running to tackle her brother in a hug.

"Здравствуйте мало Аляска!" Russia said, taking the state in his arms.

"Привіт сестричка!" Ukraine said, cheerfully. Belarus just glared.

"It's so good to see you," the state said, switching to English as she hugged Ukraine.

"It's nice to see you too," the woman said, smiling.

"Come on! We gotta go through British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba and part of Ontario to get to Ottawa!" Alaska said, grabbing Russia's hand. It was quite a sight to see such a large man getting pulled by a girl almost two feet shorter, especially as Alaska dressed much like her brother, complete with scarf.

"Oh, I can't wait to see the prairies again," Ukraine sighed happily as she followed. Belarus unhappily caught up to the group.

**10:49am**

**Ottawa, Ontario**

"Quebec?" Nunavut said. She and the French province were slumped in the swing on Canada's front porch while Ontario and the other territories went around to Canada's neighbours to see if they had a spare key.

"Oui?"

"Why are you here? You usually avoid us until the party."

"...No reason."

"Did Ontario blackmail you with footage of you listening to Celine Dion and weeping about 'the good old days'?"

"...No."

Nunavut's next question was interrupted by Newfoundland's old mismatched monster of a car screeching to a stop in the driveway, shortly followed by a pick-up truck full of prairies and a van full of Maritimers.

"I'm here, you're welcome," the former cod province said, stepping outside and holding the keys high.

"We called you," Nunavut checked her wrist, despite not wearing a watch, "Like forty minutes ago. How'd you get here so fast?"

"With a little hope, no driver's licence and giant squid named George."

"Thank God you're here," Northwest Territories said as she ran up to the group, "You have everything we kept at your houses."

"Yeah."

"Great," Ontario said, "Let's just hope we can set everything up in five hours."

**12:14pm**

**Langley, British Columbia**

"How the fuck did the car break down?" British Columbia said, angrily pounding on the hood of the car. Luckily, the car was in the driveway, not on the side of the road and wasn't spitting smoke. Yet.

"Because Saskatchewan is the only one of us that drives like a normal person?" Labrador guessed from her spot on the steps. The Asian hipster ignored her in favour of panicking.

"Just call one of your cities or towns," the Atlantic Canadian continued, "Doesn't Langley have a personification? And doesn't Langley have an annual car show and should therefore know more about cars then a hipster or a fisherman/farmer? Just call him or her."

"Why don't you call one of your cities?"

"'Cause they're on the other fucking side of the country!"

**4:27pm**

**Ottawa, Ontario**

"Dieu merci nous l'avons fait!" Quebec said, plopping down on the couch next to Northwest Territories.

"And with an hour and a half to spare!" Nunavut declared, not taking her eyes off the kitchen, where Newfoundland and the Maritimes were unpacking the food.

"So...what do we do now?" Ontario asked.

"Hope nothing else goes wrong," The Yukon answered.

"WE'RE HERE!" British Columbia screamed, slamming open the door, "AND WE BROUGHT A PERVERT AND AN ALCOHOLIC!"

"France!" New Brunswick exclaimed, jumping over the counter and running to the foyer, "England!"

Quebec seemed to consider keeping her composure, but forgot that and joyfully ran out to greet the Frenchman as well.

As France was being tackled to the ground by the French provinces, England found himself at a loss. They may be the former members of British North America and current members of the commonwealth, but England could not remember who was who.

Okay, so the two hugging France were the French provinces, New Brunsman and...and...someone. She was French; he didn't care about her name. He had been brought here by that pothead province British...Cuba? and Labrador. Newfoundland was in the kitchen with...Acadia? No, Acadia was dead. New Scotland? Yeah, New Scotland. The other redhead was...St. John's...Island? The girl that looked like that other French girl was...Ottawa, right? The one that looked like Ukraine was Saskatoon, the cowgirl was Rupert's Land and the grumpy girl in a heavy sweater was...Métis? He was sure the other Asian was Alaska, while the dark-skinned girls were East Territory and Noneofit.

Well, at least he got Newfoundland and Labrador right.

**5:57pm**

**Still Ottawa, still Ontario**

Most of the guests had arrived by then, countries and states alike, waiting for America to show up with the man of the hour. Only a few countries were missing.

"The Nordics are here," The Yukon called out.

"FINLAND!" Newfoundland screamed, running out to the foyer.

"I KNOW HIM!" Labrador screamed as well, running after her.

Most countries looked at each other, confused while the North Americans laughed or rolled their eyes.

"Uh, is that normal?" Ukraine asked. Alaska nodded.

"The two of them do stuff like that all the time."

Meanwhile, the twin had tackled the Christmas country to the ground.

"It's nice to see you too," Finland laughed, patting one of them on the back. Eventually they let go so they could squeeze the life out of the rest of the Nordics. Iceland and Greenland were beginning to turn blue by the time their hugs had ended.

**6:10pm**

**Okay, do you honestly think they left Ottawa?**

"OHMIGOD SHUT UP THEY'RE COMING!" British Columbia screamed. There was a massive scramble as everyone either ran to hide or were dragged to hide by someone else. The room was completely silent as two pairs of footsteps approached.

"Honestly America, it's MY birthday, couldn't I have chosen lunch this one-"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANADA!"

"Guys, you've been throwing me surprise parties for five years straight, did you really think I'd be surprised?"

"...Oh well. WHO WANTS BEER?"


End file.
